I used to LOVE, LOVE, LOVE personality tests.

They made me feel seen…or at least, named.
I was desperate for something outside myself to tell me who I was as I didn’t yet have the language to name myself.

Living by Labels

For years, I identified as an ISTJ.
That made sense.

I worked in higher ed. I followed structure. I built systems, kept operations running and helped students find a way through the maze of financial aid.
I lived by calendars and clarity.
I was praised for being dependable, steady, organized.

But something deeper, was always whispering beneath the surface.

A part of me that loved symbolism, softness, poetry, surrender.
A part of me that saw life as art in motion; longed for exploring over certainty, and felt truth as a sensation in the body, not a policy in a binder.

That part didn’t have much room in the world I was in.
So I boxed her up…
until she started asking deep soul questions. Society doesn’t like those questions. 

Her curiosity began to grow—
and break the box from the inside.

What’s Your FAvorite Color? 

Visions of Buddy the Elf come to mind as he attempts to continue to squeeze into his Elf world and feeling like a failure doing so. 
Haven’t we all felt a little bit like Buddy? 

Lately, I’ve been exploring my evolution in this human form.
Not into a new person, BUT into the person I was before the world told me who to be.
And it’s been super confusing and scary.

These tests: Myers-Briggs, Enneagram, True Colors—they help us understand ourselves, yes.
But they can also subtly confine us and box us in when we forget that we’re allowed to shift. No box is actually needed in this life. 

The Realization

The deeper I go, the more I realize I was never truly an ISTJ.
I was stuck in a trauma response of safety;
an intuitive, creative soul adapting to a structure that didn’t yet know how to hold me.

And when I finally let myself ask:
What if I’m actually an INFJ? What if…

What if, I just don’t FIT IN any of the categories like society wants me to? 

I cracked.
I broke down.
I felt lost.

But something began to surface:
Resentment. Grief. The desire to blame.

The Quiet Ache

This quiet ache that asked:

Why didn’t anyone see this in me?
Why did I have to reflect it back to myself, alone?
Why did I spend so much time playing by the rules? 

OOF.
Maybe you’ve felt that, too.

That desire to be mirrored…
not for your achievements, but for your true self.
Not for how well you play the role,
but for who you are when the stage goes dark.

The Sacred Ache

If that resentment is rising for you, know this:
It’s not wrong.
It’s not selfish.
It’s sacred.
It’s holy.
It’s a rebirth.

It’s your soul recognizing that it should have been witnessed.
And maybe now, it’s ready to be.

If You’re Feeling Boxed In…

So if you’re feeling boxed in by a type or label or expectation—
even one you once identified with…
pause. 

Maybe you are breaking out of the box? 

Maybe you have “Fragile” tape keeping it all together. 

Don’t run from the discomfort.
Sit with this gifted tension.
Let it speak.
Let your true self whisper through the cracks.

Because you are not a type.
And, who can say it better than Dr. Seuss:

“Today you are You, that is truer than true.
There is no one alive who is Youer than You.”

And maybe now,
you’re becoming the mirror you never had.
Not just for yourself,
but for others, too.